A while back,
I commented on the nasty queen of the night who displayed nocturnal
meanness on a TV program. She debased wrong-answer givers and ejected
them with a curt and acerbic dismissal.
No one seemed to know just where these scorned and demeaned creatures
were sent—a hazy Gehenna, no doubt, somewhere between NBC
and ABC. The name of the program escapes me.
Gasp. How could TV programming get so bad?
Well, in the past couple of years the wave of survival programs
now break over us in multiple tsunamis almost every evening in TVland.
Why would so many well-endowed young people subject themselves to
psychic and physical humiliation for what seems to me not a lot
of money.
I guess the old adage still runs true: Orange juice body, bread pudding
mind. TV programming does get worse. Another gasp.
What has interested me more recently is the arranged marriage programs.
This new level of human rejection and humiliation brings together
a couple of suitors in competition for the hand of a maiden. I understand
that a similar program exists with a couple of suitoresses(?) going
after a hunk.
There has always been competition for the female of the species
by a strutting and puffed up male of the species, and I guess the
same choreography is in place for the distaff procedure.
But in the TV versions, it is the parental unit who decides. The
process of selection even includes a lie detector test with the
questions fielded from mom and dad. There is no doubt in my mind
that both pre-spouses and spousal parents have never seen this procedure
as a type of arranging for a marriage.
Arranged marriages are part of hundreds of cultures in many parts
of the word. Westerners are simply blown away to think that parents
and sub-parents were selling their offspring to a stranger for reasons
of property and breeding.
The only difference in American TV nuptialia is that the “kids”
are older and the dowry is not mentioned. The fact still remains
that there is the “Other Force” deciding who marries
whom. (I’m running out of gasps.)
The reason I make these observations is that the Office for Worship
whose diocese pays me to be its director will soon unveil a small
booklet listing guidelines for weddings in the diocese and a list
and CD of suggested music. The whole tone of the document is caring,
understanding, celebrative, and sometimes, a little cute.
The undercurrent is that the bride and the groom are given humane
treatment as well as some help as they “pick the music”
for their wedding. I am sure all of us bend over backwards in exuding
cheer and grace when we meet the future newlyweds. All the while,
we keep orthodoxy in place and insist on suitable worship music.
My consternation is that they come to us experiencing the same cultural
disparity of TV-arranged marriages and no understanding of a sacramental
marriage celebrated in the context of prayer. If we are frustrated,
it’s not our fault.
If any time we are called to be countercultural, this is it. We
need to remind ourselves that a translation is necessary to move
from the hardly sacred celebration of TV nuptials to the sacramental
union of these two darling kids who come and say, “We’re
getting married and Father said we have to talk to you.”
Do listen, They are God’s children, too.
(Honest, I do not watch TV every waking hour. Only when I get home from
meeting with some bride and groom, as I did in active parish music ministry.)
You can reach Fred Moleck via email at fmoleck@earthlink.net
